


Apathy

by Maria_Sanchez (R00w)



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Angst, Dubious Consent, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Incest, M/M, Underage - Freeform, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 07:48:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15068501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/R00w/pseuds/Maria_Sanchez
Summary: I didn’t want to love you; you showed me how to hate you.Just Morty angst.





	Apathy

**Author's Note:**

> So there is this song in Spanish by Pablo Alboral called Saturn. This was inspired by that song, I dont know why I get so emotional with it.
> 
> Words in italics are my poor attempt to translate the lyrics to English.

Apathy

 

 

_You come back on each dream I have, and I fall right back into your arms._

 

Naked and spent. Thats how you woke up, thats how you wake up now. Since he became a part of your life and since he became the only thing within your heart, soul and body. Naked and used, your treacherous mind supplies and you already feel like crying because “How did it end up like this?”, you ask to your empty room. The empty bed beside you is cold, the body that slept there left some time ago. And you turn towards the wall, your back to where he usually lays. As if that were to change anything, as if that would erase your past actions; his lies and caresses are going to be forever carved into your skin. Purple bruises, hickeys and love-bites marking you as his, even if most of them fade a few days after you know where they used to be with clinical precision, the ownership they created showing you what they are supposed to. The sweet nothings whispered into your ears as he held you also haunt you, tormenting you with hollow promises and false declarations of something akin to love. You know they are meaningless and yet you cant stop from hoping for him to really feel every syllable that came out of his mouth in the throes of passion.

 

_I know it will take a while for me to heal from your scars._

 

Walking hurts, but you are used to that kind of pain now. The definitiveness of the statement is numbing. Something hot and thick is slowly dripping from your left leg, you are barely moving and its still coming from your most sensitive body parts; that doesn’t stop you however, you just keep walking, steady, slowly and descending each stair, a scarlet trail of droplets left behind you. You think vaguely that your mother will complain about the blood stains in the morning when she comes back from her trip. You don’t care either way. Your sister is asleep on the living room, or maybe blacked out, and you stare out the glass door past the couch where she is, the moon still shining through. You wish you could feel happy or even sad about it. You walk towards the glass door, your hand reaching the smooth and cold surface and you can picture old times, memories of long nights binge watching a series with him, laughing, screaming at the tv, playing some dumb video games, almost all of them happy memories. Things long gone.

 

_We had so many happy memories that I forgot how sad it was to give you my heart. Another thing you turned to waste._

 

Your legs move on their own, instead of walking out the door as you intended to they take you towards him. Heading to your tormentor, your savior, your harasser, your defender, your antagonist, your friend, your lover; your god. He is your everything and it makes you feel so small and so empowered at the same time. It scares you how much of your life is now revolving around him.

 

The garage door was open. The dim light coming through painted a slim and tall silhouette on the dining room floor, you stare at his back, the firm muscles moving with a precision you had always envied. The weldingtorch on his left hand came to life, sparks and fire making a beautiful dance, melting the metal held in his right hand, merging alien and human materials into new alloys most people wouldn’t even imagine. And you keep staring, fixed on those long and skilled fingers, jealous of whatever it is been held by them. Wishing, desiring, needing to be touched again; to become undone under him. To feel nothing but that intense burning eagerness directed at you and only you.

 

You call his name, your hand helping you to stay up is holding the door frame. Your legs wobble a little before they finally settle and get used to your weight. He just grunts, barely acknowledging the new presencein his domains and continues his work. Your heart sinks a bit more and your gut clenches, making you nauseous. You call his name again, this time a small whisper; and that gets his attention. He stops working and turns around, looking down on you from the other side of the room and his annoyance is quickly substituted with worry. Or at least that is what you like to believe, it’s been a long time since he looked at you like this and it lessens the pain a little.

 

“What the fuck?” He exclaims, walking fast towards you. He is taking off his lab coat and placing it over your shoulders, he takes you into his arms, carrying you as if you weighed nothing, and walking straight into his room.

 

_I didn’t want to love you; you showed me how to hate you._

 

Rick fucks as he does everything else. He’s passionate yet inconsiderate. He makes you feel like the only thing that exists in the whole goddamned multiverse and at the same time it makes you feel like the most insignificant little thing in this dirt planet. He delivers the moon and stars directly into your hands and then he burns everything in his path, taking you apart with heated kisses, bothered gasps and moans, rough calloused hands touching everything they can reach, destroying you on their wake only to put you back together however he pleases, however he needs you to be.

 

_All those kisses I ever imagined come back to the place where I watched them flourish and die._

 

He’s the most beautiful nebula; a cloud of gas and dust in outer space, visible in the night sky as an indistinct bright patch right when he becomes undone, panting hard, whispering your name into your ear as his hips move insanely fast, impaling you in his cock, his hands firmly holding you in place, bruising your own hips, the skin already purple from the abuse. And you just let him take you, use you how ever he wants, when ever he wants; because you are addicted to it now.

 

_In Saturn live all the hopes and dreams we never had._

 

When he is done with you he just sits on the edge of the bed. A mischievous smile on his thin lips. You turn around, your back to him; to what he has done to you. He is lightly caressing your thigh, as is the part of your body closest to him, and you feel sick to your stomach once more. Why do you still let him do this? This is not love. You had know it for a long time.

 

But. But you love the feel of his calloused fingers marking you in every touch. The dampness on your skin after every open mouthed kiss. Your legs tremble with every empty promise he delivers to your ears. Of course you enjoy everything he does, despite the hollow feeling left inside afterwards. 

 

_In Pluto our sorrowful screams can be heard._

 

“It’s uhh it’s a good thing nobody’s home” you hear his whisper. Relief in his voice. It wouldn’t matter if anybody was home. In fact he knew Summer was in the living room. Morty was pretty sure they all knew, the knew and they didn’t care in the slightest, thats why they kept leaving them alone. Thats why Morty was always left behind.

 

_In the Moon our voices scream together, asking for forgiveness; the worst thing that we just didn’t do._

 

“Morty?” He calls your name, and you just sink into the bed, trying to hide in the blankets. You are thin enough now, so if you stay still no one would see you in the mess of shits and clothing left after... after that. “H-hey bud, buddy. Whats wrong?” He doesn’t deserve an answer, he doesn’t deserve... He doesn’t deserve anything from me. The realization hits you so hard that your lungs feel so empty and suddenly you cant breathe. Rick is helping you to sit, his hands holding you firmly as he tries to help you breathe. But you don’t want his help. You don’t want anything from him.

 

And still.

 

You hold him close, your bony fingers desperately clutching his forearms as he tightens his embrace. You want to fuse with him, to disappear, to be one with this genius man that has transformed your innocence and naiveness into miss-trust and desperation. The cause of all your illness and the reason of all your love. You feel sick to your stomach. You love Rick. You can admit it. You know that you will never leave him despite everything he has done. Despite what you had let him do. Despite what he will do in the future. As he cradles you in his arms, your naked body flushed against his, you hear his empty words, promises and pet-names soon to be forgotten in a now vain attempt to soothe your fragile emotions. -I, I love you, R,Rick- you whisper, mouthing each word against ashen skin.

 

He stops talking. But his hands hold you closer, your incredibly sensible skin aches with the movement, every nerve on fire as he stays silent. Just like you knew he would. They stay like that, in total silent for long moments. You feel his semen drip from you, making a mess on his legs but neither move. For a long time you just breathe. In. Out. Inhale, exhale. The movement slow and silent. He hasn’t moved either. And you feel a little bit better, because despite all the struggles you are still here, you are still in his arms. You know he must have some kind of feelings towards you. You feel foolish but you can’t stop yourself from hoping he will one day return your affections.

 

You hope one day this lust and anger he has shown you turn into something pure; something real and lasting.-I love you- you whisper again. He stills his thumb on your hip, which you just noticed that was moving against your bruised hips in slow, tiny circles. He often does that now, as if showing remorse. Gently caressing abused skin and broken lips as if that would erase the injuries caused by his own hands and actions.

 

_We both share the same guilt. Even if you can’t admit it, we feel the same. Our pillows cannot lie._

 

He kisses your forehead as he places you in your side of the bed and he sandwiches you between his heated chest and the cold wall. His heart is beating wildly inside his ribcage and you can listen to it as clear as the rain outside, and since when did it start raining? Your gaze travels past your grandpa and into the dark abiss that can be seen from the window. Rick watches you in silence you can tell by his body language that he wants to tell you something. He doesn’t. But it’s ok, you know by know how this all ends, how this, what ever the fuck this even was, was going to go. -I love you R,Rick- you whisper once more, as small tears fall from your eyes. 

-I know Mort, I know honey- he whispers back, the words unsaid hanging above your heads. But you take it, you accept it with pride. This is what you will always get; this si what you will always have. And its ok, it’s going to be fine. Because Morty knew, since day one, that he preferred Rick hating him, using him or abusing him, thanbeing ignored.

Because the true opposite of love is not hate, but apathy.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, there it is.


End file.
